I realise that i may be setting myself up for endless ridicule from our learned members but I had an idea that I thought I would air here on Scarybirds.

I mess around with pictures. I swap heads and bodies around or create hopefully comic effects. Now some of this requires touching etc and colour blending, as you all know. I use a very old programme ,Photoimpact 3, I know there are better packages out there, but it suits me.

One of the features is an eye-dropper, which copies the colour you require exactly,  to be used as required in touching and re-touching etc.

Accident Report

This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

Its good for your skin....official !

Many thanks to Bizarre news for this one.

If a dung beetle scratches his arse, do his fingers smell of shit?

If a tree falls in a forest and there is no-one around, does it make a sound? I think it gets itself off the ground, replants itself in total silence.

If a budgie escapes from a house into the wild, the other birds kill it. What if its a real mean bastard?

When a dog rolls in something unpleasant, it hides its scent so no one can follow it. Try rolling in the next available dog turd and you will find it works...no-one follows you.

Is Windy Miller a fartoon character?

I like this reply on The Church Of the Holy Gay Christ on myspace.

Hi,

All dem funny named members seem to have left now. I read your replies and was touched to the very heart of my bottom. I dont believe a word about the computer spammy bollocks. I just reckon that you scared them off shitless or Zombie Corpse has had a feast and dismembered/ate the buggers.

a story that proves you should put a little bit of thought into what will be with you for life

even if it ends up being false......

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1193384/Teen-suing-tattoo-artist-8-500-asked-stars-face--ended-56.html

Welcome to the new members to Scarybirds. I would say that there are an awful lot of intelligent people on this site and I would like to say, I am not one of them. In actual fact I dont know how the hell, or why, they put up with a simple, from the sticks, ape like me. Maybe I'm the jester and just keep people amused. Anyhow, I do like it here.